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美国人关于福特车的笑话（转）
1.怎么才能让我的福特车价值翻倍？
答：加满油
2. 福特的说明书最后两页一般是什么？
答：公交车时间表
3. 美国为什么需要人行道？
答：为了保证福特车主能走回家
4. 下山的时候怎么把我的福特开得快一点？
答：关掉引擎
5. 一个雪佛兰车主遇到一个福特车主通常会说什么？
答：你需要我帮你拖车吗？
6. 为什么现在福特有了ABS？
答：因为驾驶员经常需要紧急停车去捡从车上掉下来的零件
7. 为什么福特有很大的前保险杠？
答：为了方便拖车
8. 一个福特成功开到了山顶，我们称为什么？
奇迹
两个呢？
幻觉
9. 福特的豪华皮卡后挡板为什么有加热功能？
答：为了冬天用手推车的时候不太冷。
10. 福特后排乘客叫什么？
答：缓冲器
11. 为什么福特要提高他们空气动力学？
答：为了给拖它的雪佛兰省油
12. 怎么提高福特的引擎？
答：放一个通用的引擎。
13. 怎么才能让一个福特车0-100加速小于15秒？
答：把它推下悬崖。
福特广告系列
如果没有福特，你的维修工具会生锈
喜欢开快车的马路杀手们：买一辆福特，然后永远不会超速
买一辆福特就是买了一个最好。开一英里，然后走完剩下的。
高速限速牌：65迈，下面写着：福特车主请尽全力开(美国限速不仅上限要求不超过这个，下限也不能低太多，即65的路不能低于60)。
一个德州佬向一个年轻人炫耀他很有钱，玩过很多女人。最后，年轻人有些不耐烦了，他问：“你可以描述一下你的土地有多大吗”。
德州佬说：我太阳刚出来的时候开车，到太阳落山了还没开出我的地盘。年轻人马上回答道“我很理解你，我以前也有一辆福特”。
一个小女孩放学后从学校走出来步行回家，一个中年男人在他旁边说道：“上车吧，给你一个棒棒糖”。女孩不理，继续走。“给你两个棒棒糖”，女孩还是往前走，“给你一箱棒棒糖！如果你上车”，女孩转过头：“爸爸，福特是你买的，你自己去忍受就可以了。”
Chevy vs Ford Jokes – Ford vs Chevy Jokes
1. Q: What’s the difference between a Ford and the principal’s office? A: It’s less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principal’s office.
2. Q: What goes on pages 4-5 of the Ford’s user’s manual? A: The train & bus schedule.
3. Q: Why does the new Ford Escape parallel park itself? A: Because white trash can only trailer park!
4. Q: What do you call a Ford at the top of a Hill? A: A Miracle.
5. Q: What do you call a Norwegian prostitute? A: A Fjord Escort.
6. Q: What do you call two Fords at the top of a hill? A: A mirage.
7. Q: What does the GT stand for on a Ford? A: Glued together!
8. Q: What does GT-P stand for on a Ford? A: Glued together properly.
9. Q: How come Ford makes tractors and Holden doesn’t? A: Holden can’t get one to run that slow!
10. Q. Whats the difference between a ford and a mormon? A. You can shut the door on a mormon!
11. Q: How do you double the value of a Ford? A: Put fuel in it!
12. Q: How long can a ford go for with out repairs? A: Depends if you can leave the ford dealer.
13. Q: Why does a ford and a tin can have in common? A: They both rust just as far.
14. Q: What does BA stand for? A: Bad Automobile.
15. Q: What does a ford and a tampon have in common? A: They both come with tow ropes.
16. Have you ever seen a ford pick-up, they must of been out there for hours. Thanks to T. Pickering. Flawed Falcon
17. Driving a ford is like the special olympics….even if you win your still a retard
18. The people who say they would rather push a Ford than drive a Holden usually do.
19. That’s not a leak, my Ford’s just marking its territory!
20. Ford…At least they circled the problem.
21. Did you know that Ford has a new magnetised bumper? They needed something to pick up the parts that fell off along the way.
22. The Ford AU ute has cup and thermos holders built into the tailgate. So when you push the ute you can have a drink at the same time.
23. Friends don’t let friends drive Fords.
24. If all the vehicles in New Zealand were ‘Built Ford Tough’, the shoulders of New Zealand’s highways would be a much more crowded place.
25. Q: What was the first car Henry Fordasaurus invented? A: A Model T-Rex.
Ford jokes 3
Jokes About Fords – Ford Truck Jokes
26. Q: Why do they fit heated tail gates to luxury Ford bakkies? A: To keep your hands warm when you pushed them.
27. Q: Why do the new FORD Explorers have larger bumpers? A: To make it easier on the towe trucks.
28. Q: Why are FORD dealers giving away a dog with each FORD sold? A: So the owner has a companion to walk home with.
29. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To push he’s FORD F150 back into the dealer’s show room.
30. Q: Do you know why ford is making new heated tailgates? A: So when your pushing it home in the winter your hands stay warm.
31. Q: Why didn’t the chicken cross the road? A: Because he’s F150 got stuck.
32. Q: Why are the latest Fords so aerodynamically designed? A: It improves the Chevy towe truck’s fuel consumption.
33. Q: What is the aim of a Ford project car? A: An attempt to keep their car running.
34. Q: What is the difference between a Ford and a tampon? A: A tampon comes with it’s own tow rope.
35. Q: How can they improve a Ford bakkie? A: Put a Toyota engine in it.
36. Q: What did the Toyota say to the Ford on the side of the road? A: Rust-in-peace.
37. Q: Why do they fit ABS braking systems to the latest Fords? A: So the driver can stop quicker to pick up the fallen off parts.
38. Q: How do you make a Ford go faster downhill? A: Turn off the engine.
39. Q: What’s the difference between a golfball and a Ford? A: A golf ball can be driven 300 yards.
40. Q: What is the difference between a Ford and a shopping trolley? A: A shopping trolley is much easier to push.
41. Q: What do the new speed limit signs say on our suburban roads? A: Max speed – 60 km/h – Fords do best you can.
42. Q: Why do they put sidewalks beside most streets and highways? A: So FORD owners have a safe place to walk home. Q: Why does Ford make tractors and Opel not? A: Because Opel can’t get anything to run that slow.
43. Q: What do you call a Ford with dual exhausts? A: A wheelbarrow
44. Q: What is the Ford owner’s most ardent wish? A: To buy a car.
45. Q: What do you call a Ford with a seat belt? A: A rucksack.
46. Q: How do you double the value of a Ford Icon? A: Full the tank with petrol.
47. Q: What did the Toyota say to the Ford? A: Would you like a towe home?
48. Q: What should the Ford Mustang really be called? A: The Ford Rustang.
49. Q: What do you call a Ford with 200,000 miles on it? A: A lie.
50. Q: Why is this country so far in debt? A: Because the president drives a Ford.
Ford jokes 2
51. This is Holden country and on quiet nights you can hear Fords rusting.
52. I could never keep a Ford under me, I was always under the Ford.
53. I’d rather push a Holden than drive a Ford.
54. Ford Escort me to a Holden dealer.
55. Buy a Ford and you buy the ‘best’. Drive a mile and walk the rest.
56. Sometimes the best jokes are true. On May 12, Ford announced a recall on it’s Expeditions and F-series trucks. Faulty lug nuts could cause the tyres to FALL OFF. It just keeps getting better.
57. SPEED KILLS Drive a Ford and live forever.
58. Next time some Ford fanatic claims Ford means “First on race day” remind them that anything could be fast if a team of mechanics worked on it all week so it would last long enough to run a race before needing another weeks work.
59. God make [Naughty Pottyword], Ford gave it wheels
60. Did you know that 98% of all Fords ever built are still on the road? The other 2% made it home!!
Ford Sucks Jokes – Ford Mustang Jokes
61. God created [Naughty Pottyword] and ford made it move
62. Q: How do you double the value of a Ford? A: Put gas in it.
63. Q: How is a golf ball different from a Ford? A: You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.
64. Q: Why are there footpaths beside streets? A: So Ford owners have a safe place to walk home.
65. Q: Why is New Zealand so far in debt? A: Jenny Shipley gets chauffered in a Ford.
66. Q: How much wood could a Ford ute haul if a Ford ute could haul wood? A: As much as the Holden ute towing it.
67. Q: Why are the new Ford Falcons more aerodynamic? A: So they will save the Holden petrol when the Holden tows them away.
68. Q: How come Ford makes tractors and Holden doesn’t? A: Holden can’t get one to run that slow!
69. Q: What does the GT stand for on a Ford? A: Glued together!
70. Q: Why did Ford start putting magnetic bumpers on the back of Ford pick-ups? A: So it would catch all the parts that fell off the guys Ford pick-up.
71. Q: How long does it take for a ford falcon to drive from Sydney to Melbourne? A: Depends on how fast the car carrier takes to get there!
72. Q: What kind of car did Fred Flinstone drive? A: A ford of course, and it ain’t much different now!
73. Q: What did the HOLDEN say to the Ford? A: Better start running.
74. Q: Whats worse then a missing toilet bowl? A: Driving a Ford.
75. Q: What kind of car did Fred Flinstone drive? A: A ford of course, and it ain’t much different now!
Ford jokes 1
76. Q: How much wood could a Ford ute haul if a Ford ute could haul wood? A: As much as the Holden ute towing it.
77. Q: Why does the BA XR8 Ute have cup and thermos holders built into the tailgate? A: So when you push the ute you can have a drink at the same time.
78. Q: What does a ford and a tampon have in common? A: They both come with tow ropes.
79. Q: What do you call someone who buys a second hand ford? A: Scrap Dealer!
80. Q: What is the difference between a Ford and a porcupine? A: Porcupines have pricks on the outside.
81. Q: What is the difference between a Ford and a porcupine? A: Porcupines have pricks on the outside.
82. Q: What goes on pages 4-5 of the Ford’s user’s manual? A: The train & bus schedule.
83. Q: How do you double the value of a Ford Icon? A: Full the tank with petrol.
84. Q: Why do they fit heated tail gates to luxury Ford bakkies? A: To keep your hands warm when you pushed them.
85. Q: Why are FORD dealers giving away a dog with each FORD sold? A: So the owner has a companion to walk home with.
86. Q: Why are the latest Fords so aerodynamically designed? A: It improves the Chevy towe truck’s fuel consumption.
87. Q: What is the aim of a Ford project car? A: An attempt to keep their car running.
88. Q: What is the difference between a Ford and a tampon? A: A tampon comes with it’s own tow rope.
89. Q: How do you make a Ford go faster downhill? A: Turn off the engine.
90. Q: What’s the difference between a golfball and a Ford? A: A golf ball can be driven 300 yards.
91. Q: What is the difference between a Ford and a shopping cart. A: A shopping trolley is much easier to push.
92. Q: What do the new speed limit signs say on our suburban roads? A: Max speed – 60 km/h – Fords do best you can.
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家庭主妇这几年 (2022-6-5) 酸菜小鱼1212 
发表于 2017-5-24 13:19
福特这么不堪么？我开福特
